13 May 2008
recently the other half has set me thinking about alot of matters. its really kind of sad, yknw, when reality sets in, and the once technicolour, fairytale world i lived in threatens to just fade away, slowly, bit by bit. and one wonders, what was the tragedy that befell us all? that we've all become such jaded, conniving creatures, so much that simple happiness, and maybe even that kind of love that transcends time seems so much of a fairytale and out of reach. what happened to giving, just because you wanted to and not because one would reap some kind of benefit in return?
today was like a mini impromptu gathering of all my loved ones of sorts. took a side trip back to stnicks after math [ /: ] to see the bestfriend whom i havent seen for a damn long time. orange bowl wasnt open ): but i managed mushroom cheese toast from the toast stall and the bowl of honeydew sago that snack stall auntie insisted on giving free despite the fight i put up and the cup of lemontea mixed hundred plus with double straws that the drinkstall uncle made immediately upon seeing my face even before i opened my mouth. theres nothing like stnicks, really, isnt it so desperately obvious why i love it so? unexpectedly happykid showed up as well and after all the hugs and screeching we went for a walkwalktalktalk around the school grounds and did a little catching up on each others lives. popped by choir prac [ where loulou showed up, surprises of surprises! ] and then continued on to fold some paper cranes for a girl who really needed all the prayers and love and luck that we can spare. had a heart to heart with my muackxz, and
no love, youre not screwed up, and you know we'll always be there to back you up it was also during the walk out of school with the half clique that i realised just how much ive missed stnicks. i have probably said this a milliontrilliongazillion times but it still rings true. while talking to the girls i realised how fragile life really was, and that the most unexpected could happen when your loved ones are not by your side so you can see for yourself that they're well and hearty. and when something happens and the regret sets in, youd probably go around lamenting " why "
i have had too many regrets in these past few years so i really cannot afford to have any more, and i suppose the same should apply to all you out there so please stop all the silly nonsense already wont you?
so i will make a promise i'll try my best to be someone who lived, instead of someone who existed,
and just in case im gone tmrw and never get to say this ever again, i need all of you to know that i love you.
okay this post sounds very serious. on a lighter note, concerts on sunday! i have thankfully stopped croaking but this husky voice srsly has to go if not im going to be a really screwed Laurey for Oklahoma /: ticket sales have apparently been really good and we're nearly there to a full house which is also very scary because if we fall it'll be a really hard fall. sigh okay AJCHOIR! we can do this (: all those still interested, uh please go down to sistic yourselves hahahaha.
i also have major issues with the messenger on the laptop [ which have thankfully gone back to normalcy after the going berserk a week back ] so iloveim.com is currently my best buddy. stewpid TTM
i must also stop being responsible for the breaking of a man.